“See God, who thinks like that?! I’m sick of being a freak.”

THIS IS AN ARTICLE I WROTE FOR OUR CHURCH NEWSLETTER...

Why do we fight who we are? Why do we fight who God made us to be? It seems like for as long as I can remember I’ve been fighting to change myself and I’m not sure why. I look at the talents and abilities of others and am envious. I think of the dreams God has placed in my own heart and just don’t have the confidence to see them happen. What’s the deal?

I struggle a lot with the question “Who am I?” I feel like I don’t fit any molds… I don’t fit any set of usual talent combinations or skills…. I just don’t fit. I think of everything in a very deep, sort of poetic, way and it gets annoying!

I was crying the other night alone in bed, and as I cried I thought to myself “Man, there is just something so beautiful about one tear rolling down your cheek…” And then I cried harder and thought, “See God, who thinks like that?! I’m sick of being a freak.” and His response to me was “but I love that about you”. (Which made me cry even harder – because of the amount of love and acceptance all packed in that little 6 word sentence!) It was an important moment for me. Why do I fight who God made me to be? Why do I fight how creative and artsy I am? Why do I lack confidence? God has put all of these things in me and He loves that about me! He loves that I don’t fit what I think in my mind a Mommy, Wife, Pastor’s wife, Daughter, Sister, Woman, Republican, Christian, should be.

I recently had a good friend call me out on this. He called me out on being so apologetic about the talents God has given me and the desires and dreams God has put in my heart. He called me out on not owning those things. And I mean he really called me out on it! It was a rough, intense, conversation but a possible life changing one at the same time. It’s funny because one of the gifts I see in him is that he has insight. And what do you know… he’s using it! He’s not sitting there scared to use his gift. He didn’t hesitate for one moment to speak the truth to me and he didn’t worry what anyone would think of him, including me. He took the special ability that God has placed in him and he used it. Interesting…

So here’s where I am… I am trying to embrace all of these seemingly random skills and dreams. I’m doing a lot of thinking and asking a lot of questions… and I’m starting to go for it. I am starting to go out on a limb and live! I am trying all of the things I secretly thought I could do if I just had the confidence to do them. And I hope you will do the same starting TODAY. Is there something that God has placed in your heart that you are just afraid to do? Some dream that you need to go for? I hate to quote my husband (cuz he’s a dork) but he was right when he preached that each one of us really is a beautiful work of art. God has fashioned you. He has thought long and hard about you and has made you so unique. And he loves that about you! He really does.

The Abell Family in Concert

On June 19th Rob and I did a concert at Mt. Zion Hall to raise money for Rob's up-coming Mission Trip.

For two weeks at the end of this month Rob, as a requirement of school, must go on what they at Westley Seminary call "An Immersion". He has to "immerse" himself in another culture for two weeks. He had the choice between going to another country or spending time here in the states - which ever he thinks would help him more later in ministry. So he chose to spend two weeks immersed in the youth culture with a youth ministry called "Salt and Light" in southern PA. He'll be asking the teens questions about their view on life: families, politics, any and everything. The goal is to find out how today's youth feel about their lives now and their future.

So, we put on a cencert to try to re-coop some of the $900 that we had to send in to pay for this trip earlier in the year and the $100 he'll need for spending money. We played 12 songs - some with us both singing, some with me on guitar, some with Rob on guitar, some with the conga, etc.

Our Set List Was:

Grace Like Rain (Todd Agnew), Enough (Jeremy Camp), Give Until There's Nothing Left (Reliant K), Let it be Said of Us (John Waller), Indescribable (praise song), You Said Go (by me, Christian Abell), Be Thou My Vision (hymn), TEN MINUTE INTERMISSION - Nothing But the Blood (Hymn), Trading My Sorrows (praise song), Those Who Trust (Waterdeep), Nothing Compares (Third Day) and ended with Bring the Rain (MercyMe).

We had the Hall set up like a little cafe - with all of the tables decorated different and refreshments served. We ended up with a crowd of about 25 people and the whole thing went very well. The kids even did a few songs right before the intermission - and were a BIG HIT!!! We raised about $360 that night. We had already received $200 from some other people and a couple of weeks after the concert we received $240 in donations from various people. So we are up to $800 and we are VERY pleased with that! We weren't sure if we'd raise very much at all so we are happy!

Visit from the Cousins

My older sister, her husband, and their children traveled down to visit a couple of weeks ago and we all had a blast! It was great to see everyone! Here are a couple of pictures from our week-end...