Love & Cotton Ball Under Ware!

Today is our 9th wedding anniversary and I thought I'd post a couple wedding pics since a whole lot of the people that read my blog have never seen me with long hair. It was down to my butt!

Here's a more recent look at the happy couple.

In some ways it feels like I've always been with Rob and in

another way I can't believe 9 years have past already.

Tonight we are going out to dinner to our favorite steak house Russells. It's been a favorite of ours for years but now the chef happens to be my brother! So we told him that when the order for two teriyaki filet mignons comes back around 4:00pm (the only reservation time they had left) make them extra special. I'm excited... their steaks melt in your mouth!

No gifts exchanged this year... or at least I didn't get him him anything so I HOPE he didn't get me anything either!! Geez, that would be bad... :) We used to get the traditional gifts for one another each year (but do it in a funny way). Like the year that it was cotton I made him under ware with cotton balls glued all over and he made a card for me out of an old shirt (I still have it). 9th is pottery & willow. So I guess some pottery would be nice... but I don't need a gift. Just being with my blue eyed baby is enough. (Everyone say it... "Awwweee" :)

Couple pictures from Christmas Night at my Aunt's house. It was great. My cousin got the Wii Fit that day from her parents so we all played (young and old) and we laughed so hard we couldn't breath! It was much needed by all.

Friday I start college online and I'm psyched. I am going for Business Management/Medical Transcription. I will get my associates in 13 months due to their accelerated program. Classes are 5 weeks at a time - no breaks over the year. Intense but I can do it all online at night after the kids go to bed. (I don't watch TV so I'm always bored anyway!) And it was great b/c they used my 2007 tax forms and we were dirt poor then so I got a ton of grants and aid.

It took me a while to get over the heartbreak of having to drop out of culinary school but I'm ready to move on now and I'm hopeful about the future.

If any one's a college football fan my sister Jess goes to Pitt and plays in the marching band so they are in TX today to play Oregon State at the 75th Brut Sun Bowl. She's tall and plays trombone... in case you try to spot her :)

Please be safe tonight everyone!

Protest died...

Our 6 month old puppy Protest died tonight. We decided to put him down after severe complications after surgery... we are very sad... he was a good little dog.

Thank you for your love and prayers.

FaLaLaLaLa LaLaLaLa

Last night I watched my favorite holiday movie "White Christmas" on the new TV the church bought us for Christmas while Rob went over across the parking lot to lead his 2nd Christmas Eve service (that over 100 people showed up to - holy crap!! That's a lot for an 11pm service!) Anyway, he got home at 12:15pm and we partook in our Christmas Eve tradition of having champagne and chocolate covered cherries together and then we put the gifts out under the tree and stuffed the stockings.

At 7:30am our son came in and pulled the curtains open exclaiming "get up, get up!"

We had a good morning of wrapping paper ripping and oohs and ahhs...

Our daughter had requested a doll house and I was relieved to find this small but nice one for only about $30 (since all the ones i had looked at previously were $100 or more). She's very happy with it.

A T-shirt Rob got me (that I love!) And the much anticipated "swimming puppy".

My favorite gift is the little pink hand print that Rob made me with our daughter to match the gold one of our son I already had. Now when my kids are older and don't want to give me the time of day I can run my fingers over their little imprints... very cool Robbie-baby.
I got Rob all the manly things he wanted like a ratchet screw driver, etc. This is what my son got me... :)

My son's reaction to the quilt I made him and my daughter's were quite different... as you can see.

However, about an hour later as Rob told her that I made her the quilt she exclaimed "You MADE that Mommy? It's so beautiful!" So I guess maybe I should have explained better as she was opening it! :) I knew full well that a quilt would be one of those things that wouldn't be exciting on Christmas morning but would be enjoyed many cold days in the years to come so I wasn't expecting any big reactions.

I made Rob an Eagles fleece scarf but no quilt. He has one I made him for his 26th birthday when we were dating. It was my first quilt... looks the part too! But it's warm so I guess that's what counts. These three quilts (the kids and Lene's) were only my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th attempt and I'm pretty happy with them. It was a lot of long hours but I really enjoyed the artistic outlet it provided. I already have more material to start another and I might just make it for me! We'll see.

What's going on right now:

I love you all and hope today is simple and peaceful for you.

Chicken & Tomatoes???

My parents and younger sister Jess came over a couple nights ago for dinner and to exchange Christmas gifts with us. My sister who is almost 20 and in school in Pittsburgh got creative with her gifts to my children but her unique idea wasn't exactly received well by them.

See, she was trying to give them something useful and she knew two things, #1 I make a lot of vegetarian meals (simply cuz I don't like meat) and our son loves meat so she got him a roasted chicken. #2 She knew that our daughter's favorite food of all time is cherry tomatoes so she got her those. Jess had wrapped them in Christmas wrapping paper and everything....

Our son opened his first. He teared the paper with fiery and then stopped and stared. One eyebrow went up. His eyes got wide and very slowly he said "Th....ank....You....?" I just about died laughing! It was adorable to watch my son try to be polite when his face clearly said "why did she give me a chicken?"

So at the same time our daughter is unwrapping her gift and when she gets it opened she just stares at it and looks like she's gonna cry. (She's much more sensitive). I am again cracking up.

Jess is saying stuff like "I'm sorry guys. I thought you'd like it. I thought it was a good idea." While Mom, Dad, Rob, and I are snickering and reassuring her that it was a good idea.

Our son still phased a little immediately moves on to his second gift (this one from my Mom) but when he opens that he says exacerbated "What's the heck?!!" You see, he had told her a month earlier that his sister never let him play with her as she played "my little ponies" so he requested a boy pony for himself. Well she looked and looked and looked and the best she could find was a blue pony with pink and yellow hair. So after opening chicken he next opens a pony with pink hair and, as I said, exclaims "What's the heck?!" Too Funny! All of the adults were laughing so hard! I couldn't breath! We had to do some quick damage control with the unamused children.

Mom and Jess, a valiant effort!

(And BTW - he thoroughly enjoyed the chicken the next day and she downed 2/3 of her tomatoes before they even left that night. And the pony... well it has been in his hands wherever we go!)

Why Christmas Sucks

The cursor is blinking in this text box... and I don't know how to say what I am feeling.... Christmas is always strange for me because my brother died two days after Christmas 9 years ago... I remember waking up that day, not really wanting to be there (I was less than a week away from being Mrs. Rob Abell and I'd rather have spent the morning with him however the night before he had convinced me that since it was my last Christmas as a Santacrose I would regret not spending it at my parents house.)

So, we all woke up and got our stockings, and then started to open our gifts. If I remember correctly Jess, true to form, gave me as my gift a paid balance on my "fart, freakin', sucks" chart (our mom would put a check mark on a chart anytime we'd say one of those words and we'd owe a quarter for each. Every Christmas and Birthday Jess' gift to me would be to pay my very high balance. :)

So anyway, everyone had opened their gifts and everyone had a gift from my brother Joe except for me (his favorite I might add!). Well, that's not true, he did give me a small rubber frog with it's hand on it's crotch! But nothing else because "I know what I want to get you for your wedding and it's $10 so you don't get a Christmas gift cuz I gotta save" he explained.

The day went on and I don't recall much else except that I remember looking at him that night and thinking he looked pale. (hindsight's always 20/20)

The 27th I woke up and argued with him, while painting my toe nails, about how I wasn't helping him on the computer fast enough... He got mouthy as 13 year olds do to their older sisters and I chased him... unable to catch him I yelled I'd help him later and left the house for wedding errands. I even stopped off at the dollar store and found a soccer Christmas card on clearance and bought two - one for Joe and one for Mike (his twin) for next Christmas. By the time I got home that night Joe was dead.

Again the cursor is blinking.... It was a beautiful night... the snow was falling softly and I was waiting on the front porch of my parents home... waiting to hear how Joe was dong after he collapsed at a soccer game... a car pulled up... my father got out and everything just slowed down... I knew somehow... I knew... he walked onto the porch silently and then wrapped his arms around me and broke... my mind reeled as he sobbed "Joey's dead, Joey's dead, Joey's dead"...

We were taken to the hospital and I remember that night looking at Joe lifeless on that hospital bed in just his tattered old boxers... muscular.... freckles every where... and he looked so small... so little... so young. I remember bending down close to him and purposely staring at the little cluster of freckles on his shoulder (his birthmark) and memorizing it - knowing it would be the last time I'd ever see it... I whispered the lyrics of his/and my favorite song in his ear... not sure why... maybe because it said things like "when I was young the furthest I could reach was not so high then I thought the world was so much smaller feeling I could fly - I believed in things I'd hope for and I hoped in things unseen. I had wings and dreams could soar but I just don't feel like flying anymore. Dear Father I need you. Your strength my heart to mend. I want to fly higher every new day again." It was about the loss of innocence and asking God for his strength to make every day new. It was exactly that moment I was living.

I remember lots of people in the waiting room... but the one person I remember not trying to offer any dumb advice was my cousin Greg. Greg, I have always loved you for that moment. Your eyes were just sad and you just hugged me... no words... none were needed.

I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this.

This year it will make it 9 years and I still get sick to my stomach when anyone brings him up or I see his photo or art work. My son who looks like Joe, draws, is left handed, has the same personality, humor, memory, etc. caught me off guard the other day cuz he drew a penguin and it was a dead ringer for the ones Joe always used to draw... and I felt sick....

Once again....not sure why I'm even sharing this. And don't hug me when you see me after reading it... I don't want a hug. I don't want anything. Cause it won't change anything. "Better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all" is crap. "Ignorance is bliss" - now there's a keeper.

Lene's Quilt

My friend Lene has been such an awesome friend over the 10+ years we've known each other. Usually we don't exchange gifts for birthdays or holidays but this year I wanted to do something special just to let her know how much I love and appreciate her so I made her a quilt. Here are some pictures of the process:

At this point (above) my daughter asked me why I was breaking that blanket :)

It took about one month to complete.

She received it in the mail yesterday.

Friday Morning (12/12/08)

There's a blue Jay in the middle... can you see him?

His Piano

Our son's been asking for a piano for quite some time now and one day we got word of one someone was giving away and could deliver....

He loves it!