Treman

I was very stressed about a month ago and sent Rob a text from work saying that I gave away the next two days shifts at work and to pack the camper cuz I NEEDED to go camping for a few days. It's Rob so he happily obliged. We headed just 20min away to Robert Treman State Park. It was rainy but great to get away none the less. We rented a non-hook up site for $15 per night and got about $30 worth of groceries. Love cheap get aways! Just what we all needed.

Love this one. So like a little boy "Ew Mom."

Watching a video with Jiffy Pop. We had lunch this day at College Town Bagels in Ithaca near the commons and let me say that I can not go to Ithaca with out eating here. They have about 100 bagel sandwiches and I can get avocado on ANYTHING I WANT. I am in HEAVEN when I'm eating there. No joke.

Sewing with Mommy while Rob read and Malachi watched an action movie in the jeep. She was making a little pillow for herself. Hiking at Toughannock State Park (just 10min from Treman).

Mal was very into collecting different kinds of leaves he came across.

That's smoothed stone, not water. If you wanted to you could walk the whole way on the creek bed.

Mal was pouting about something here and lagging behind. So this was me taking a picture over my shoulder to make sure he was still walking but as to not let him know I was checking :)

A baby here. A baby gone.

I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now so I'll be quick. I just can't stop thinking about something that happened today... Ya know when you're having a good time with friends and you get a text that's not good at all and as you are absorbing what the text says you fake a little chuckle at your friends as they continue on with their conversation? You don't say anything because you have to explain too much to make it worth the trouble of even bringing it up?.... I did that today. I was at a baby shower and was just sitting back observing a couple surrounded by so many people that love them and were there to celebrate the arrival of their child. It was nice. Watching those glances shot between the happy couple and seeing all of the warm and pretty pink gifts that will grace a warm and loving home. While watching all of this my phone started vibrating. I looked down to see who was texting me and read a message from a friend beside herself because her child's father was holding the baby captive and not letting her see the child. She fears he will take her to court for full custody and to be honest, the more I think about it, he'll probably win. It was one of those "time stands still" moments where you feel yourself blink but it's seemingly in slow motion. What strange timing for that text. One baby is being joyfully welcomed and one has disappeared from the one who gave birth to it. I know this next thought is obvious to many but has been swirling around in my mind since that moment: When I gave birth to Malachi some one's son died somewhere probably not too far away, perhaps in the same hospital. The day I got married someone was calling it quits with their spouse. I announced today that I got a new job and someone, some where, had to break the news that they lost theirs. On the flip side, the day I was told my first baby had no heart beat and "we're sorry" someone else heard their baby's heart beating strong. It's incredible the parallel universes that exist together and at any moment you can be on one side or the other. Incredible.

My Farmette - Phase One

Phase one of my dream of having a farmette and growing most of my own family's food is beginning this month. The book I am basing my plans on is a GREAT book called The Backyard Homestead.In this book the author (who had a similar set up as she suggests at her childhood home) walks you through EVERYTHING involved in having a large garden, fruit trees, bees, and live stock. She even walks you through processing the food. Below is a basic idea of what I want when it's all said and done. (Crappy photo I know). The numbers say 1. Vegetables, 2. Fruits and Nuts, 3. Herbs, 4. Grains, 5. Poultry, 6. Meat or Dairy Animals, 7. Wild Foods (aka Bees).What I want when the farmette is complete is:

• Fruit trees & bushes
• A huge garden with many different veggies & herbs
• Bees (for the wax and the honey - the wax is actually the real money maker - cosmetic companies buy it)
• A pig or cow per year to be "processed" for most of our year's meat
• Two goats for milk, cheese, butter, etc.
• Rabbits for meat - I know it sounds heartless at first but rabbit meat is the most lean meat there is and a market for it is growing. The only thing is I can't "process" them myself cuz that WOULD make me cry for sure)
• And about a dozen chickens for eggs

I wanted to have a turkey for meat once a year but Rob says their too mean... Oh well.

So a lot of these things can't happen until we own our own property. With Rob's job we live in a house that belongs to the church and year to year you never know if the Methodist church will move you so there's no point investing tons of money into fences, etc, on someone elses land. So the live stock (minus the chickens) will have to wait. Chickens have a small enough area that I am happy to spend the money to start seeing my dream come true now. Fruit trees and bushes will have to wait because they take years to get to the point where they produce a good harvest so not worth doing at a parsonage. The bees, too, will have to wait simply because there are always SO MANY children around and in our yard because of the church right next door. I'd rather wait til I have a large yard that's somewhat private so I can put them in a far corner.

Here's what's happening soon: Chickens, large garden (in the spring), and an indoor herb garden. We will also be adding a tree house (that may or may not end up actually IN a tree :) and a super cool clothes line to our yard. It actually has always relaxed me to hang my clothes. The kids leave me alone when I do it and I just completely zone out by the simplicity of the whole thing. By spring all of this will be in full swing.

I will be sure to post pictures as all of these fun projects unfold.

I can't wait to own my own home so I can do the whole thing!

She died.

I can not stop crying. Just found out a friend died this morning at 2:30am of cancer. Polly, she was 39 and such a bright soul. I didn't even know her that well but she was someone it was impossible not to love when you spent any amount of time with her. I got to know her when I subbed at the elementary school a few years back. She was supposed to be Malachi's teacher this year....
I know all of the things I'm supposed to be feeling - that she fought hard, that she inspired many, that she loved the Lord well.... but it just seems like if SHE couldn't beat it, who can? Who can best this foe we call cancer?
The following is a heartbreaking message left by a child on her facebook page last night: "Hi Ms. Tompkins, this is Caleb. I wanted to write you again and tell you that I wish I could come over to your house and make you better. I keep crying and my heart hurts and I feel sad for you and your family. I love you Ms. Tompkins!" I read it last night, when she was still alive and fighting, and cried (of course - how can you not cry after reading something so touching.)
The last time I saw her I was whining to Rob about something small and he was joking with me and hugging me trying to get me lighten up... and she just smiled at us and in her eyes I could almost see her enjoying his love for me. I look back and just feel stupid for caring so much about temporary things on that day.
Anyone who knows me know that music is the way my heart expresses itself. The night my brother Joe died I got down on my knees in a dark living room and sang to God sobbing with hands lifted - at the time it just seemed like the only thing to do because what do you have in those moments but the one who created you? All else stops and time stands still and little things don't matter. Today the song I can't seem to get out of my head is Bethany Dillon's "Hallelujah" mostly because of the line (speaking of God) "And only you could see the good in broken things". I need Him to come today and hold me and help me to see the good in broken things.....
Here are the lyrics:

Who can hold the stars

and my weary heart?

Who can see everything?

I've fallen so hard

Sometimes I feel so far

But not beyond your reach

I could climb a mountain

Swim the ocean

Or do anything

But it's when you hold me

that I start unfolding

All that I can say is

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Whatever's in front of me

Help me to sing hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Whatever's in front of me

I choose to sing hallelujah

The same sun

That rises over castles

And welcomes the day

Spills over buildings

And into streets

Where orphans play

And only you

Can see the good

In broken things

You took my heart of stone

And you made it home

And set this prisoner free

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Whatever's in front of me

Help me to sing hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Whatever's in front of me

I choose to sing hallelujah