God, I want a twenty.

I feel it is time to share this story so as to relieve my friend Robin's guilt. You will understand that statement at the end.

The last week of December I woke up one morning a total grump. We had just celebrated Christmas (which makes every one's wallet thin) but then through Protest being sick and dying we had forked out $800 the day after Christmas. So, we was po. No money for us. Which meant no food in the house. All we had for a week was whatever we had through WIC. Milk, eggs, cheese, milk, eggs, cheese.

For days I tried to be positive saying things to my kids like, "There's people in the world with less" and blah, blah, blah. But finally I had had it. I was sick of milk, eggs, and cheese. So of course I started to whine to God and in my most ungrateful witchy tone I said (out loud) "God I want a twenty today. My kids are hungry, I'm hungry. I want a twenty." And I went on about my day.

Well, my younger sister Jess was in town for a few days from Pitt and called asking if she could bring her new boyfriend over to meet us. I said "sure" but what thinking "Yeah, great. Someone new to meet and I'm ready to bit some one's head off today."

They showed up and being a tad upfront, as I am, I introduced myself as follows, "Hi Nick. I'm Christian and I am totally disgruntled today." He gave a sheepish grin and said something of the effect of "Really? Why?" So I quickly told him how I wasn't able to grocery shop this week and was being a baby about it. Then the conversation moved on.

About an hour into the visit he disappeared into the living room where the kids were playing and when he reappeared in the kitchen I took one look at him and commented "You look guilty. What did you teach my kids?" He said "What? No I didn't do anything." So I let it go and soon they went on their way back to my parents house.

Jess called from the road, "Um, when Chris thought Nick looked guilty... he was. He hide some money in the house. Have fun. Bye." and she hung up giggling.

Rob repeated the message to me and we stood there for a minute and scoffed "That's queer..." and then, I think due to our growling stomachs started searching in a frenzy! We looked and looked and as I lifted up a clothes basket there was a twenty dollar bill. As soon as the sight hit my eyes I said "Oh Sh#t." (Yeah Mom, not proud of the swear) But I honesty had forgot my morning's prayer until then. It was something said like a bratty little kid like 8 hours prior... So I pick it up and (still not learning to be thankful) said to God "No. I wanted it from Robin or something not from my sisters new boyfriend I just met." Beggars can't be choosers I suppose.

Needless to say we immediately went to the store and feasted on bologna sandwiches, yogurt, and applesauce that night. (Which seemed like a royal feast).

Now this is actually not the first time this has happened. I have requested exact amounts from God in the past and gotten them. Once Rob came home from church and asked me with a grin, "Some one slid a $50 in my hand as I left church... is that your fault?" "Yes." I admitted I had prayed for that exact amount about 5 hours earlier. So now it's the running joke in our house.

So the part about relieving my friend Robin's conscience: I told her the story the next day at church and told her "I can only tell you that story cuz I sweared and I know you won't care!" Well, about a week ago I went over to her house for a haircut and two of her friends were there hanging out. After I had coffee with them and got my haircut they handed me a card as I walked out the door and said "Don't open it until you get home." It was strange because I had just met them. So I just said "Ooookay" and went home. Once there I opened it up and there were two $20 gift cards to Walmart and a note that read "Your prayer has been heard." Once again, I was like "Ooookay". Right then Robin texted me nervously apologizing that she shared my private story with them about the twenty dollar bill as she was trying to witness to them and share how God is in fact real. I assured her that if I get $20 each time she shares it I am good with that!

So there Robin. It's no longer a private story. You're off the hook. :0)